Wait till next year
Or next day, really
In 1941, Ted Williams hit .401 for one of the world’s greatest baseball seasons, but that also means he failed 60% of the time. Great baseball players fail way more than they connect, that’s just the deal it’s what we expect. And of course, nobody would be happy with me as a teacher having a .348 average with kids in the classroom. But neither do they expect me to bat a thousand. I strike out constantly, it’s part of the job. But just as the fan of a perennially losing team will end the season saying Wait till next year, I often end my days thinking, Wait till tomorrow. Little Orphan Annie had it right.
During my student teaching, I thought I’d ruin kids for life, but my supervising teacher shrugged and said there wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix the next day. Not an insult at all, just the acknowledgement that the school year is a marathon, not a sprint. That’s how I try to view my many (many many) mistakes. I can fix it the next day. Sometimes it’s more of a biblical day, that it takes a few days or weeks or months. And sometimes not at all. Ted Williams struck out 27 times in 1941. More folks remember the 37 home runs.
Adolescents are constantly in flux, they’re growing in front of our eyes, and moods can swing within a day or a week or minute. Sometimes kids come in more amenable than other times. Even the easiest year is not a cake walk, and this is not the easiest year. I find myself looking forward to next days a lot. I want a high average, but I know there’ll be days I go 0-5 and days I hit for the cycle. More of the latter seems good when I can.
The Urban Blah
Back in 2009-11 I collaborated with the brilliant Vee to make a webcomic that failed to become syndicated across the globe. I am pro-recycling.
Lovisa turned a good joke into a great joke. The heavy lids in the top are both because he needs his coffee and because he’s so dismissive, and sets up the second panel so well. Plus the limited pops of color. One of my favorites, perhaps our greatest hit. And Vee has a substack, you should subscribe!
Jam of the Week
I told the Awesome Wife I’m currently oin an electronica kick, and she was like, “Yeah, I know.” She can’t escape my constant soundtrack, my Sonos zones reaching nearly every corner of the house. Loving a lot, but really stuck on this Maceo Plex record from 2016, Journey to Solar. I listen to it over and over again, “Motor Rotor” is my jam,
An Another Thing
The cards I won at Apples to Apples recently (left) paint one picture of me. The cards I won over the summer (right) paint a different picture.
My Back Pages
At some point it became fashionable to write 100 Things About Me pieces, and I found one whose listed date of 2014 seems late in the game for such tomfoolery. More like 2004. Some highlights
When I was little, I had two imaginary friends named Bricky and Brick. They were from Greece.
In college, I was voted Homecoming King, which should tell you how seriously they took that kind of thing.
I used to have an FCC license.
I now find it hard to believe that I had an actual FCC license for my high school radio station, but I had a cardboard card that said it, I've believed it for years. As for Homecoming King, I find it hilarious watching kids in my after-school video-making club using the crown for their sketches.
I've eaten crocodile.
I walked around a studio lot with Cheryl Tiegs on my arm.
I also drove her car.
When I was a production assistant on Just Shoot Me, I had to escort Cheryl Tiegs from her car to stage. Because she was in heels and it was raining, she held my arm as I held her umbrella. Then I was told to move her car, and I failed to crash it.
Both my grandmothers are named in song titles on The White Album (“Sexy Sadie,” “Martha My Dear”) but I don’t think the songs are about them.
My sister and I must be in a pretty exclusive club on that count. Although technically she was Saydie, and I’d rather not contemplate Nana’s sexiness.
I have never been skiing, ice skating, or surfing.
I once touched Ted Kennedy's butt.
18 is still true, and I worked on the late Senate Lion’s ’94 campaign against Mitt Romney (!) I went to see First Lady Hillary Clinton speak on his behalf at a rally, and I was trying to shake one of their hands, and he backed into me. I got a way better story to tell at parties.
I once read an Internet rumor that I didn't exist.
I only vaguely remember this, but it came in the wake of the Life at TJ’s guy disappearing and people saying they knew him and his story was made up. Deep in some comment thread, a guy listed people who could be fakes and included me. Man, I miss the blogosphere.
My name has appeared in TV credits on ABC, CBS, NBC, and the WB
When I was eight, I dropped a plate at a salad bar and when I everyone turned and looked, I blamed my sister.
TV credits use to mean something.
I did not see The Dukes of Hazzard until I was 21.
I have never smoked a cigarette.
My parents said the Dukes was “trash TV,” I assume their confederate flag didn’t help the cayse. 52 remains true.
The first tape I ever owned was the Ghostbusters soundtrack.
The first concert I saw was INXS. The Soup Dragons opened.
The first movie I saw in the theater was The Muppet Movie. When Animal got all big, I cried.
I attended a Wrestlemania and stood two feet away as Donnie Wahlberg was introduced to Vince McMahon.
I wrote an article about wrestling in the Boston Phoenix, so I got a press pass to Wrestlemania at the Gahden. I asked Mike Tyson a question at the press conference.
Geena Davis once told someone I was talented, but I think she just said it to try to get out of the conversation.
Either way, she gave me a teddy bear.
I wrote a silly email to a guy who worked on set, and he read it to Geena and she said, “That guy is talented.” And while there is a technical chance she actually thought that, the better guess may be that she was being polite. (She was exceptionally nice.) What is indisputable is that her character’s name was Teddie, and on Valentine’s Day she walked around the writers’ office suite with a shopping cart handing out teddy bear’s. I think this was the sum total of my interactions with Geena Davis, that she wheeled up to my desk and handed me a teddy bear and I thanked her. It has since been regifted to my oldest niece.
I used to own accordions on the east and west coast.
I don’t know how play the accordion.
Boy have I enjoyed boasting of my bicoastal accordion ownership. At the original writing I was down to one, and as of today I’m at zero. and
I once peed in Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry’s house.
Boldly going where no Dan has gone before.
I made Brooke Shields’ husband frown. Years later, I made her smile.
I am clearly not afraid to name-drop in print, for better or worse,
I took my first date to see The Burbs. To this day, I’m not sure if she ever knew it was a date.
That’s what tells me the list was 2004 or so, because I remember using the magic of Facebook to confirm she did NOT know it was a date. In fact, it was so not a date that she had been worried I thought it was. D’oh! Now that time I saw Look Who’s Talking Too is promoted to first date status, but is that even better? Maybe worse?
Great list!