Typos, or should I say Tpyos
Writing mistakes from all sorts of places
I reread last week’s newsletter and was aghast to discover multiple typos. An unnecessary repeated word, forgettable when I meant forgivable, at least one more I’m blocking out lest the grammar police reassign me to teach social studies. The Awesome Wife gleefully confessed she usually finds at least one typo a week. Turns out I’m a crap proofreader.
Sixth graders call any error as a typo, just as they believe editing is mostly about punctuation. I was taught a typo was your fingers mistyping, like msitypnig, things the red squiggle illuminate. I’d extend that to mean teh, a misspelling to widespread that a lot of programs autocorrect it. (I turned that feature off on my phone after too much What the he’ll?) But if ever I choose the wrong it’s/its, that isn’t a typo. And it’s not a lack of knowledge, because I do know better. No, that’s a straight-up brain fart. The and and is just lazy proofreading, and who’s lazier? I try, and I largely succeed. But not entirely
Sixth graders view all mistakes as created equal. Mistyping, brain misfires, legitimate misunderstandings, creative spelling. Some might call run-on sentences a typo, anything they need to fix is a typo. What else would you expect from a generation who types so much with their thumbs? It’s all I can do to get kids to read over their work before handing it in, so I see my fair share of typos, defined broadly. Even indulge in a few myself.
Please consider any errors in today’s post a sly joke.
The Urban Blah
Back in 2009-11 I collaborated with the brilliant Vee to make a webcomic that failed to become syndicated across the globe. I am pro-recycling.
While on the subject of grammatical mistakes, I commissioned this comic when I transitioned from post-Hollywood doldrums to teaching school. As a first year teacher, I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to keep up with the Blah, so I pitched this grammar comic and have had it on the entrance to my classroom ever since. It’s now joined by a follow-up on it’s/its (shared another day), plus a student-drawn there/their/they’re. Sometimes if a kid uses the wrong one of these in writing, I walk them over and read through the comic. Does that mean I get to deduct it on my taxes?
And Vee has a substack, you should subscribe!
Jam of the Week
Trying to write these paragraphs has reminded me why I stopped reviewing music: I’m bad at it. Like, I can’t explain why some dance music speaks to my soul and others I can’t stomach for a whole 20 seconds. But I really like that Gabe Gurnsey album from last year, Diablo, it’s my kind of electro. What’s that sound like? Check it oot.
My Back Pages
Back in my era of blogging, everyone had a codename — Count Chocula, BubbaRay Gracie, JoMilkman, etc. I started my blog while trying to get famous as a writer, so my codename was Dan Tobin. That’s what’s behind the title of this Sept 7, 2007 blog post, “Book ‘’Em, Dan Tobino”
My list of books read has reduced by two. Back when I was unsure how much reading I’d get done, I counted the three novels in Roddy Doyle’s Barrytown Trilogy as three separate books. And it’s fair, since they were indeed three separate novels written years apart. But I’ve decided to end the year with pictorial reviews of every book I’ve read (the review contained in my facial expression as I hold up the book) and I didn’t want to have to explain why I was holding up the same book three times. Plus, I’d rather my bookworm be pure.
I was never been a better reader than when I had a long subway commute and no fear of reading while walking. I read more in 2007 than any other adult year: 47! I did not do that book review idea, probably because it sounds like a lot of work. And the bookworm is a reference to The Awesome Wife’s grade school accountability gimmick. We often reminisced about padding our totals with easy books, the ’80s equivalent of graphic novels.
Of the 33 books I’ve thus far completed, 9 were written by Jonathans: Lethem, Franzen, and Ames. The Jonathans easily beat out the second-place Nicks (4), and will only solidify their position as I just received four more Jonathan Lethem books in the mail. Along with George Plimpton’s account of his time quarterbacking the Detroit Lions, the five books cost a shade over $20 including shipping. Half.com is pretty awesome.
I read 12 books by Jonathan Lethem that year, and I’ve read most of the rest of him since, I really liked his latest, The Arrest. The other two Jonathans I’ve since moved on from. I still like Nick Hornby, but I kind of forgot he existed. Ditto half.com.
My favorite reads of the year have had an interesting circular nature to them. Nick Hornby reviewed and raved about Jonathan Lethem. Lethem wrote a back-page blurb for one of the Jonathan Ames books. Ames name-dropped Jonathan Franzen in one of his essays. And Franzen concluded one of his essays with a partial excerpt from Nick Hornby. I guess you could say that means I’m reading authors who inhabit a very small sphere, and I guess you’re right. Hmm, that seems less cool than when I started writing this paragraph.
Yup, it’s a whole lot of white guys! The next year I got into Richard Russo (more!) and the next year I got into graduate school and turned to YA. Three of the Nick Hornby books were his (hilarious) book reviews, and it directed a lot of my reading for a while. Right now I’m finishing Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, and it’s fantastic.
On a non-book note, it’s Friday and I had an interminable meeting yesterday, so here are my brainstormed band and album names:
Crowd Monkey Shell of Art Spike on My Foot Featuring the Fortunate March Restitution Blown Wings Newsmonger Hideous Doorframe Lime Pillowcase (could be a history to this one) Turncoat Ostrich Eyebrow Monsters from the Deep Pink Building Machine Corner Happiness Crusted Buster Paleoriffic Dutiful Mervin
I once promised a sequel to the lists of invented band names I’d brainstorm to amuse myself during boring meetings… but it’s still coming because this one is just gravy! As for the history of Lime Pillowcase, you’ve seen in this very newsletter…
Any typos in today’s post were the fault of my copy editor, Dutiful Mervin