Is it even a new year?
Mine really starts in September
The day before break, I told the kids it was their last class of the year, and most were like, Ha ha. Why would they care about a calendar year? They view the world in terms of age and school year, and those rarely sync with Dec 31. That happened in second grade, not That happened in 2019. Even I think of my own life the same way: sophomore year of high school, senior year of college, the time on The Geena Davis Show. Now I think in terms of sixth grade classes, which I can translate to years when needed. But I taught 200 kids in 2023 because it covered two school years. This is technically new years day, but mine really is right after Labor Day.
That said, I’ll indulge in a couple New Year’s Aspirations:
Self-care. The Awesome Wife recently dragged me to a couples massage and my body loved it, demands more. My next mental health day will be my first, and it will occur in 2024. I’m late to the party, but I’m finally willing to admit that even I deserve self-care, too. Sometimes.
Invest in friendships. I’ve committed to weekly video chat with my friend teaching in Japan. That guy I’ve been threatening to hang out with for months, let’s make it happen. Neighbors are easy to lure over, time to start luring.
Indulge in stuff I shouldn’t… less. Think Damp January instead of Dry January, but expansive enough to cover, say, chicken-fried steak. Which I’ve only ever had once, and it was last millennium.
Return to good habits. I fell apart at the holidays again, but I need to get back to strength, bike, PT, eating pescatarian mostly, no sugar. It’s largely how I rolled in 2023, time to get back on the horse.
The Urban Blah
Back in 2009-11 I collaborated with the brilliant Vee to make a webcomic that failed to become syndicated across the globe. I am pro-recycling.
I shared this comic last year, but let’s do a deeper dive. Vee pitched me a holiday card.
I offered my thoughts.
I LOVE this. I just want to play with it some.
What if the snowman has his arm around the wife and the Onion’s a little separated, like he’s being excluded?
Or keep it as is, but the Onion’s got tons of snow on his coat.
And what do you think about some “rocks” on the snowman to make the urban blah teeth sort of?
Also, this seems a great place for some color, even if it's just in the trees and scarves.
In her reply, she explained how the comic came about.
I liked the idea of him ruining the holiday card photo by being silly and holding the snowman's hand (because that is exactly what E would do). BUT, I’m going to do alternate version of wife and snowman looking happy and jolly and Onion excluded and pouty, it could be really funny. Will send later.
It’s like he’s mad the snowman stealing his girl, and maybe he has snow on him from fighting the snowman. And losing! I find this hilarious, if not quite on brand. I liked her instinct of him wrecking the card. It’s the kind of thing I’d want to do but lack the nerve for, so let my comic doppelgänger take the fall. Of course, I’m not above ruining plenty of stuff, but I like to think I wouldn’t dare with something so ostensibly high stakes.
I love that, the snow on his coat now suggests the Wife built a snowman while the Onion was whacking into trees and falling down. Art imitates life. Except the Real Life Wife would never spearhead a holiday card; her only idea years ago was of me performing surgery on her.
And over break I caught up on Vee’s substacks, they’re so good, you should subscribe!
Jam of the Week
The Awesome Wife and I spent a couple days in New Orleans and fell in love with it. Last time I was there, I was a week away from the aforementioned chicken-fried steak, and my 22 year-old approach was… less refined. We were charmed by the buildings and culture and vibe, and the FOOD. But the music was what hypnotized me most. I loved the Dixieland influence, imagined kids choosing which brass instrument to rock out on. Sure, Frenchman St had its share mediocre blues rock for middle agers to dance to, but it also had the Hobo Gadget Junk Band: banjo, Dobro guitar, trumpet, tuba, fiddle, washboard. I clearly need to check out Honk Fest in Somerville next year because this music spoke to my soul. I’m adding Honk as a resolution.
And here’s my all-time favorite dixieland song; please disregard the CONFEDERATE FLAG on the album cover (sigh).
My Back Pages
In 1997, in Boston, the comic Eugene Mirman started a free Onion-esque comedy newspaper called The Weekly Week. His friend worked with me at The Phoenix and he knew I liked writing funny, so I ended writing for the debut issue. Fun fact: I went to a meeting at Eugene’s with the hot receptionist, and last week she took me to New Orleans. I wrote a Red Sox round-up, probably the second issue in October, 1997. You know, when everybody’s thinking about the baseball season currently underway. I’ll share the miscellany bullet point roundup portion.
* Since memorizing all the words to “99 Red Balloons” in German, Troy O’Leary has hit .371 and can fly.
* Tim Wakefield has eaten at least 15 oysters every day since losing 5-2 to the Orioles in June.
* Against left-handed pitchers without facial fair who have been in fist-fights within the last week and are allergic to penicillin but don’t have a tendency to bite their tongues while eating baloney, John Valentin is 3 for 5.
Speaking of MAD Magazine… But I felt the insane specificity of sports columns was ripe for the skewering. And RIP Tim Wakefield, he and Varitek were the only ’97 guys who made it to the promised land of 2004 and 2007. That’s OG.
* Jimy Williams only has one “m” is his first name.
* The bat Carl Yazstremski used in his final plate appearance was the same bat that spooked Bruce Wayne as a child.
All these years later, I’m not a great fan of the bat-homonym joke, but boy do I like me that Jimy Williams one. Presenting a spelling fact as a sports Did You Know? My favorite.